After a lot of thought I decided to email Pharm. I've never received a "Dear John" letter, but I can imagine that it sucks. I basically told him that although I had a good time with him and appreciated everything he did, I just wasn't feeling the chemistry (which I think you should feel during the first date, let alone the third). I also said that I would enjoy hanging out with him in the future (friend zone), but that I understand if that's not what he's looking for. I feel really bad, but I think he deserved to hear what I needed to tell him before he takes me out and spends another $100 on dinner.
My date calendar is getting sort of ridiculous. I am now scheduling dates for next weekend (as in 10 days from now), because I'm pretty much booked solid until then. It is getting to the point where I am having a hard time keeping track of them. Through this whole process I've only made one mistake (I said something about the school Tex went to, then realized it was Slot who had gone to that school...oops...). It's weird, when I first signed up for match I had tons of dates, then is seems like the population dried up, and the number of emails I got suddenly went way down. Now, it's like the dry spell is over and I am back to getting at least 5 emails/winks from NEW guys each day. So I'm scheduling my dates like a doctor schedules his patients- book people every day, but leave spots open for emergencies (in this case, my favorites). I would hate for someone I really like to ask me out and have to tell them I'm available in 2 weeks.
Oh, Flight is back from vacation and I think we are going to meet for dinner in a town half way between us (remember, he lives an hour away). I suggested this and he said that I scored major points by offering to travel. Gold star for me!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Pharm
I haven't talked to/heard from Pharm since Saturday, when he sent me a text. It basically said that he hoped I had a good holiday and for me to let him know when I'm back in town. I haven't replied. Even though I know there's no chemistry, I told myself that if he contacts me and asks me out again I will go...partially to give it one last shot and partially because I would feel bad, since he sent me all that stuff (however psycho). Like I said, the ball is in my court, since he asked me to call him.
I know I don't want to call to just chat or whatever because I don't want to lead him on....really the only reason for me to contact him would be to tell him I'm not interested...but, do I owe him an explanation? Should I send him an email or something saying that I'm just not in the same place as he is (or something like that)? Now, for my regular blog readers, you know that I have no problem just not talking to a guy and letting the situation work itself out...but I don't want this poor guy to be like "everything was fine, I sent her flowers and wine, and never heard from her again...I'm never buying flowers for a girl again." Think of it as taking one for the team...
What do you think?
I know I don't want to call to just chat or whatever because I don't want to lead him on....really the only reason for me to contact him would be to tell him I'm not interested...but, do I owe him an explanation? Should I send him an email or something saying that I'm just not in the same place as he is (or something like that)? Now, for my regular blog readers, you know that I have no problem just not talking to a guy and letting the situation work itself out...but I don't want this poor guy to be like "everything was fine, I sent her flowers and wine, and never heard from her again...I'm never buying flowers for a girl again." Think of it as taking one for the team...
What do you think?
Retard #3504983259
Remember the retard from this post? To recap, he sends out very long emails to girls on match and, in them, says how much he likes sex. I know, charming. Well, since he sent me that message a month ago, I have received two identical emails from him....which I guess is slightly better than the "Obviously you didn't get my email because I have not received a response" emails that I get sometimes. So I decided to respond to this guy in an effort to get off his mailing list. Here is what I said:
"Just wanted to let you know I've received this same email from you three times over the course of a few weeks. Any person who mentions sex in an introductory form email really isn't my type. Good luck with your search."
I wasn't trying to be rude, I just wanted to tell him blatantly that I'm not interested, and why. This is the response I got from him:
"no problem, any one who is prudish about sex and has a problem with sex is not my type. good luck to you."
Okay, are we so far gone as a society that what I said makes me a prude? I mean don't get me wrong, I am a prude, but this guy doesn't know that...and has no reason to believe that based on what I said to him. I would be very interested to find out how many girls he actually manages to go out with...
"Just wanted to let you know I've received this same email from you three times over the course of a few weeks. Any person who mentions sex in an introductory form email really isn't my type. Good luck with your search."
I wasn't trying to be rude, I just wanted to tell him blatantly that I'm not interested, and why. This is the response I got from him:
"no problem, any one who is prudish about sex and has a problem with sex is not my type. good luck to you."
Okay, are we so far gone as a society that what I said makes me a prude? I mean don't get me wrong, I am a prude, but this guy doesn't know that...and has no reason to believe that based on what I said to him. I would be very interested to find out how many girls he actually manages to go out with...
Monday, July 7, 2008
Busy times ahead
Well, my social event calendar is filling up. I even have a few new guys to add to the mix.
First (and most important), I have another date with Tex on Wednesday. Nothing fancy, we are just meeting to hit golf balls. But I'm still excited about getting to know him better.
And now, I'd like to introduce Golf. Golf is 28 and a golf pro at a local country club. He is pretty darn cute, sort of has that punk look going on, but mixed with the preppy-ness of golf. I mentioned that I went to a driving range over the weekend and said I wanted to get lessons, and he offered to give me lessons! So we are meeting up for that and then grabbing drinks after. To everyone reading this, I was thinking that I should offer to pay for the drinks since he's giving me a lesson, but at the same time it's a date, so I'm not sure? Opinions?
I also am in the process of setting up a date with another guy, who I will call Lefty. I viewed his profile several times, but would always stop being interested when I saw "Liberal" listed as his political view. But when he emailed me, I decided to be open (since I don't want any of my prius driving friends accusing me of being a close-minded conservative). So I will probably be going out with him later this week or maybe next week. He is a lawyer and seems pretty interesting, so at the very least I think it will be fun. Perhaps we'll have to keep our conversation to such topics as the weather...
First (and most important), I have another date with Tex on Wednesday. Nothing fancy, we are just meeting to hit golf balls. But I'm still excited about getting to know him better.
And now, I'd like to introduce Golf. Golf is 28 and a golf pro at a local country club. He is pretty darn cute, sort of has that punk look going on, but mixed with the preppy-ness of golf. I mentioned that I went to a driving range over the weekend and said I wanted to get lessons, and he offered to give me lessons! So we are meeting up for that and then grabbing drinks after. To everyone reading this, I was thinking that I should offer to pay for the drinks since he's giving me a lesson, but at the same time it's a date, so I'm not sure? Opinions?
I also am in the process of setting up a date with another guy, who I will call Lefty. I viewed his profile several times, but would always stop being interested when I saw "Liberal" listed as his political view. But when he emailed me, I decided to be open (since I don't want any of my prius driving friends accusing me of being a close-minded conservative). So I will probably be going out with him later this week or maybe next week. He is a lawyer and seems pretty interesting, so at the very least I think it will be fun. Perhaps we'll have to keep our conversation to such topics as the weather...
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Small towns
One thing difficult about where I live is that even though it is a large city, it is one where you always run into or see the same people. This can be a problem when one has my preferred method of putting an end to dating someone, which is just not returning a call or text. This problem is made worse by the fact that 4 of the guys I've gone out with live within a mile or two of me, which means we shop at the same stores and drive the same roads. I feel like I need to dress up like a movie star avoiding the paparazzi just to avoid seeing guys I've dated. Last night I was downtown at a popular bar. I was sitting at the bar, waiting for my drink, turn to the right, and see Atlanta standing there. Well, either Atlanta or someone who looks very similar to him. Actually I can't exactly remember what he looks like, which is why I wasn't sure if it was him or not. Anyway, he looked enough like him for me to stay on the opposite side of the bar to him. I guess if it had been him and he approached me I could have adopted an accent and acted like I had no idea what he was talking about. Hmm, that's a good game plan for future reference.
Fireworks
I am happy to say that my date with Tex went really well. I drove over to his house and then we drove together to watch the fireworks. He packed a picnic, complete with appetizers and dessert. We had planned to go to the park and sit on the grass, but we ended up parking in a little dirt parking lot thing on the side of the road where a lot of cars were parked for the show. Tex has a truck, so we just put the lawn chairs in the back and sat in the truck bed. We were really close (like 500 ft) from where the fireworks were launched, so it was awesome. Right away we sort of made friends with some people parked across from us, and the man, noticing the well-planned picnic, said that it must be our first date, since guys don't do stuff like that forever. We said he was wrong and that we had been together 15 years...and he actually believed us...yep, together since I was a freshman in high school.
Anyway, the whole night went really well. He is very stable (just bought a house), has a good job, but is still fun and doesn't act like he's 50 (unlike Pharm). That's the blend I've been looking for, someone who has their stuff together without making me feel like a little kid. I texted him the next morning to thank him and say I had a good time, and he texted back saying he a good time too, and that the last 15 years has really flown by. So, hopefully we'll be going out again...of course seeing how I am actually interested in him, he probably doesn't want to go out again. Murphy's Law strikes again...
Anyway, the whole night went really well. He is very stable (just bought a house), has a good job, but is still fun and doesn't act like he's 50 (unlike Pharm). That's the blend I've been looking for, someone who has their stuff together without making me feel like a little kid. I texted him the next morning to thank him and say I had a good time, and he texted back saying he a good time too, and that the last 15 years has really flown by. So, hopefully we'll be going out again...of course seeing how I am actually interested in him, he probably doesn't want to go out again. Murphy's Law strikes again...
Friday, July 4, 2008
Slots of fun
Okay, time for a recap of my date with Slot. I was looking forward to this date for a couple of reasons, first, because after emailing back and forth for well over a month I was really ready to meet the guy, and second, to see if my issues of not liking any of the guys I have met is because of them or because of me. For example, Pharm is a great guy, very nice, and very attentive (understatement of the year there)...he has the same goals for the future as I have, and, on paper, is great. However, the thought of him making a move on me sort of grosses me out. After undergoing the psychological consultation of a friend from work, I decided that my date with Slot was the perfect opportunity to see if I am really ready to date.
We agreed to meet at a bar/pub waaay on the other side of town from where we both live. Not sure why, but that's what I get for letting him pick (I later found out it's because his friend is a bartender so sometimes he gets hooked up with drinks). I get there at exactly the time we were supposed to meet and send him a text, asking if he's there. Nope, but he's on the freeway. He finally shows up 15 minutes later. Now, I understand that stuff happens, but how about calling someone if you are going to be more than 5 minutes late? Common courtesy, folks. Anyway, he gets there and goes into the bar, while I am still sitting in my car. I actually thought I saw him walk in, but wasn't sure. About 2 minutes later I get a text from him, and I tell him I'll be right in. I go inside and he has already gotten himself a drink. We get a table, and not once does he ask me if I want something. The waitress comes around and I order myself a drink. The first thing I notice is that the pictures he had on match were definitely his good pictures. He is good looking, just not quite on the level I was expecting. We actually ended up talking for about two hours, which sort of shocked me. Overall he is a nice guy, and I would like to hang out with him, but I can't see us having any sort of long term thing, he just doesn't seem like my type. OH, and he paid for his beer that he had ordered at the bar before I was there, but then the bill came for the other beer he ordered and my drink. He made no sort of movement to pay for it, so I had my money out (I wasn't going to be held hostage again, especially not for my $5 drink), then said he would pay because he had made me wait 15 minutes. Um, how about paying because you're the boy and you asked me out?
The important thing about the date is the thought of him making a move does not gross me out. So I have come to the conclusion that it's not me, it's just luck of the draw with the guys I've dated so far. And yes, I am going to give Pharm another chance, just because he is a nice guy and I don't want to be the girl who got flowers and then never talked to the guy again...that would almost guarantee that I would never again in my life get flowers, and that's just not a risk I'm willing to take.
Also, I need to introduce a new guy to the blog, Tex. Tex is from the area, but went to school in CA and then to grad school in Texas. He just bought a house (with a pool, perfect for summer) and is a sewer engineer (which sounds like a fancy name for a plumber or something, but actually he designs systems or something like that). Anyway, we've been talking for a week or so. I was supposed to go out of town for the weekend, but do to a little logistical mix-up was left here on the 4th of July with no plans. He happened to text me and ask what I was doing, and when I said nothing, he suggested we do something. There is a big fireworks show, so we are going to the park where it all happens and having a picnic....sort of necessary to get there really early to claim a spot, so we figured we could multi-task and eat while claiming our territory.
We agreed to meet at a bar/pub waaay on the other side of town from where we both live. Not sure why, but that's what I get for letting him pick (I later found out it's because his friend is a bartender so sometimes he gets hooked up with drinks). I get there at exactly the time we were supposed to meet and send him a text, asking if he's there. Nope, but he's on the freeway. He finally shows up 15 minutes later. Now, I understand that stuff happens, but how about calling someone if you are going to be more than 5 minutes late? Common courtesy, folks. Anyway, he gets there and goes into the bar, while I am still sitting in my car. I actually thought I saw him walk in, but wasn't sure. About 2 minutes later I get a text from him, and I tell him I'll be right in. I go inside and he has already gotten himself a drink. We get a table, and not once does he ask me if I want something. The waitress comes around and I order myself a drink. The first thing I notice is that the pictures he had on match were definitely his good pictures. He is good looking, just not quite on the level I was expecting. We actually ended up talking for about two hours, which sort of shocked me. Overall he is a nice guy, and I would like to hang out with him, but I can't see us having any sort of long term thing, he just doesn't seem like my type. OH, and he paid for his beer that he had ordered at the bar before I was there, but then the bill came for the other beer he ordered and my drink. He made no sort of movement to pay for it, so I had my money out (I wasn't going to be held hostage again, especially not for my $5 drink), then said he would pay because he had made me wait 15 minutes. Um, how about paying because you're the boy and you asked me out?
The important thing about the date is the thought of him making a move does not gross me out. So I have come to the conclusion that it's not me, it's just luck of the draw with the guys I've dated so far. And yes, I am going to give Pharm another chance, just because he is a nice guy and I don't want to be the girl who got flowers and then never talked to the guy again...that would almost guarantee that I would never again in my life get flowers, and that's just not a risk I'm willing to take.
Also, I need to introduce a new guy to the blog, Tex. Tex is from the area, but went to school in CA and then to grad school in Texas. He just bought a house (with a pool, perfect for summer) and is a sewer engineer (which sounds like a fancy name for a plumber or something, but actually he designs systems or something like that). Anyway, we've been talking for a week or so. I was supposed to go out of town for the weekend, but do to a little logistical mix-up was left here on the 4th of July with no plans. He happened to text me and ask what I was doing, and when I said nothing, he suggested we do something. There is a big fireworks show, so we are going to the park where it all happens and having a picnic....sort of necessary to get there really early to claim a spot, so we figured we could multi-task and eat while claiming our territory.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
OMG
Remember yesterday how I said that Pharm was being a bit too intense and I was kind of wanting him to back off? Well, today I go into my office and on my desk is a box containing flowers in a vase, a bottle of wine, and containers of licorice and chocolate covered cherries. Now don't get me wrong, I think this is a very nice gesture...however, it seems that after knowing him for all of 6 days it may be a little much. What do you think?
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
I like you, you're great, leave me alone.
I had my date with Pharm last night. He is very easy to talk to and we have a good time together. We went to dinner and this very yummy place, then got Coldstone (yes, again) after. This was our third date in four days, and he just asked me if I am free on Thursday. Now, don't get me wrong, it's great having someone chase me for a change, it's very flattering...but, at the same time, I am actually happy that I have plans through Sunday, because I feel like it's just too much. Maybe I'm just not used to being pursued like that, who knows...The other problem is that I have absolutely no desire to do anything with him (okay, get your minds out of the gutter, I'm talking first base here). And it's not because I'm not attracted to him, I am, but it just seems so awkward....maybe that's just part of the dating thing when you've been out of the game a while. Hmm...for anyone reading this who has had to return to the dating world after a long relationship, feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts and experiences.I was able to turn him down for Thursday because I have my date with Slot! It's about time...
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
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